I am going to do my very best to keep this blog from being a personal tirade of my day to day. My aim is to stay focused here!
[But, I am a little bit cranky tonight. My position as a nanny in the household I am getting to know is getting a little sketchy… Granted I have only interacted with them for a 4 hour shift… Well they told me that I don’t need to answer the phone because the husband’s family will call just to check on me, that I should keep the front door locked because the in-laws will just walk in. I was forewarned by the wife, the wif’e’s friend and sister, that I need to be wary of the brother in law that lives in the basement. Really folks? I get all excited that such an easy replacement job comes up and nope. Just kidding! There could be some issues there.]
Okay but the real deal today is: how do relationships function if you have totally opposite beliefs on a specific topic, and they happen to be very strong beliefs?
Example: I am tripping over myself excited about the feminism class I am in. We’re studying third wave feminism, and just a crash course here….
fem·i·nism noun \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
Definition of FEMINISM
: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
So before everyone gets their panties in a knot (like my boyfriend always seems to) …. modern feminism covers a wide variety of current and often controversial topics. I’m talking equal rights, reproductive rights, homosexuality and homophobia, race studies, gender studies, queer studies. I’m going to keep my feminism ideas separate from this blog, because this blog has entirely different goals. However.
I have been calmly reminding myself all night, that my beliefs are quite different from my boyfriends’.
If you have ever read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, you might be familiar with her idea that much unneeded stress comes from our often unspoken, and often unrealistic or selfish, expectations of the people in our lives. I know I am not putting this word for word as what she said, so take it with a grain of salt. (Or buy her book, it’s a great read and you can get it off Kobo. Or see her website: http://happiness-project.com/books/happier-at-home/about-the-book/) So as I bit my tongue and refrained from asking (yelling at) my boyfriend to get off the damn PS3 (NHL3 was released today) and put his sweaters and collective junk away, I reminded myself that he made dinner tonight. I cautioned myself that my ideas of cleanliness were different and instead of seething, I needed to communicate. I began to tidy up, because tidying is important to me, but I can not expect it to be important to him. And sure enough, as I was cleaning, he got up and took out the garbage and cleaned up too. (Because I asked him to)
I said thank you, and felt much better about everything and headed upstairs to blog and do my homework. (Which I haven’t gotten to quite yet.)
So this left me with 2 rules, instead of two questions, for the night.
#1 Never forget basic manners, no matter how intimate the relationship. Your appreciation is only known if voiced.
#2 Communication is key. No one can mind read, so if you want something, ask for it.