Moment for [In]Sanity

Jewel “Down So Long”

Sometimes, I need to accept my insanity for a minute.  Let myself lose control, step away from my to do lists, put my headphones in and sing the songs that take me back.

[Back to the days of sneaking a cigarette on the back porch, to the days when I tackled homework at 1 in the morning, back to the days were sleep was a luxury I couldn’t afford and I had to focus on something.  I didn’t know what.]

I apologize, this post has zero valuable information. It’s pure vent. I’ll be surprised if I reach any sort of conclusion here.

I admit, I need to lose myself in mindless self pity and frustration sometimes. Sometimes, I know on a logical level that I don’t have it bad. It could be worse. A large portion of the population has 5x the stress and worry that I have. But you know. When you just can’t find a moment’s peace.  When you have deadlines and projects, and people who want your time and attention, and you want to scream like a child and clutch every precious minute to your chest?  Lock yourself in the bathroom and make enough noise that no animal or phone call or message can get through.

“Looked to everyone but me, to answer my prayers

’til I saw an angel in a bathroom 

Who said she saw nothing worth saving,

anywhere.”

–  Jewel “Down So Long”

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